By Drew Ross 

One of the greatest frustrations for many foreigners when they begin working in China is the inability for many people to say one simple word: no. Saying the ‘n’ word sounds easy, but it is actually, for the vast majority of us, incredibly difficult. Whether one does not have the ability to do something or does not have the time, learning how to politely refuse a task is an essential tool that can both improve productivity and maximise time.

Teaching your staff and the people around you to say ‘no’ can be hard – especially when we are, after all, in China and saying ‘no’ can sometimes be regarded as impolite in Chinese culture. How can one balance these cultural sensitivities with the need for direct and honest answers?

Why is Saying ‘No’ so Difficult?

The inability to politely refuse a task is by no means exclusively a Chinese problem. How many times in the last month, for example, have you taken on a task or a project that you were either unable to do well or did not have the time to do? Perhaps you felt obliged when a colleague asked you for a favour? Or maybe you felt pressured when someone senior needed something done?

On the flip-side – do you, as a manager, make requests or delegate tasks without being fully aware of the employees work-load, schedule and resources?

Many employees see all the work that is delegated to them as essential – and in many cases feel that they have no choice but to accept it and get on with it. However, a key priority for any manager is to know that their employees are working to maximise their time – a key to any company’s productivity. If an employee takes on a task that then prevents them from working on something of a much higher value to the company, this may not be the most effective use of their time – particularly when the task in hand could be completed by someone else who is possibly even more willing.

In Chinese culture, saying ‘no’ is often regarded as impolite. Even when some Chinese people say no, they will often respond with indecisive answers like ‘you keneng’ (maybe), a slight nod of the head or ‘bufang biande’ (it’s inconvenient). The purpose of this cultural conditioning is to maintain harmony and avoid any response that may be considered upsetting. Unfortunately, in the west, ‘it’s inconvenient’ or ‘maybe’ can often mean ‘yes’.

In addition to this, a common way of saying ‘no’ in China is to raise objections. This can lead to confusion. A western colleague who proposes a project and hears objections might respond with, they think, reasonable solutions. At the end of a conversation the Westerner might think that the Chinese person is agreeing to take something on, as they have raised no further objections. Likewise, the Chinese may feel that they have made their objections clear and consider the matter closed. This type of miscommunication can quite clearly lead to problems. A clear approach to communication is therefore essential.

Getting to ‘No’

We all want to get to ‘yes’, but the truth is, getting to a clear and decisive ‘no’ can be equally valuable. Here are some useful tips for managers and employees when dealing with the issue of ‘no’:

As a manager:

1. Be aware of your employees’ workload. It is all very well to ask them to do something but if they really have got a lot going on then you could be putting them in an impossible position. Take the time to be aware – your employees will thank you for it.
2. Encourage your employees to look at how they use their time. Is their time being used in an effective way that maximises your company’s resources? Do they plan their workload? Are they clear about their goals and objectives or do you just expect them to get on with everything and tell you when it is done? Good managers should take the time to get regular updates on big and small projects alike, so they are clearly aware of who’s doing what.
3. Why are some employees staying later than others? Are they managing their time effectively? Are they taking on their colleagues’ tasks out of politeness? Identify the scapegoats and the bandits.
4. Identify your employees’ key strengths and weaknesses through means such as aptitude testing. This will ensure all tasks are delegated to the person best suited for the job so employees will not have to say ‘no’ in the first place.
5. Create an environment where saying ‘no’ is not seen as failure of any kind – and doesn’t mean people are not capable of doing their jobs. Many people feel inadequate if they refuse to do something.

As an employee:

1. Know your own goals and priorities – it’s easier to legitimately say ‘no’ to something when you know what’s going on. A clear plan of your goals, objectives and priorities will give you the ammunition to stand up and politely decline to do something.
2. ‘If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing well’. Be honest and direct – this will benefit both you and the person delegating the task to you. If you commit to doing something that is outside your ability or which you simply don’t have time for and then deliver something which you both think is sub-standard, both parties will be disappointed. Be upfront and direct and admit that you don’t feel you can fulfill the request to the best of your abilities. A good manager should accept this and respect you for it.
3. If it is something you are really interested in doing, but still feel that your other projects are taking all your time, suggest dropping another project to make room for it, or that your current project is passed on to someone else in the team. This will also help clarify the urgency of the new project.
4. Remember – you are saying no to the proposition and not the person. Saying ‘no’ should not be personal and should not be seen as such.

Drew Ross, Yaxley Education is a corporate training company based in Beijing, offering business skills and English language training.