By William Dodson

I went to a farewell party a couple weeks ago that was very touching. Jim*, the Western GM of a former client that is now a close friend, invited me to the banquet to see off the company’s former production manager, a local Suzhounese named Betsy. I had participated as instructor of one of the training sessions I had presented to the company when the manager had first joined the company, four years before. Once, years later, when the manager was visiting the company’s headquarters near Chicago, I had her over to my home for a dinner party to meet the neighbors and other local Chinese friends. She enjoyed the gathering very much.

The night of the farewell banquet four tables of forty co-workers in all had gathered to say their farewell, about twenty percent of the entire staff. I came with the HR manager of the company, also a close friend. I very much appreciated the opportunity the GM and the HR manager had given me as a friend and former vendor to say goodbye to a lovely person. Happily, Betsy did not know I was coming to the affair, and gave me a warm hug to thank me for attending; it had been nearly two years since we had seen each other in Suzhou, and nearly four since her husband and I had played equally badly as a team during a company badminton tournament.

The food had not been served yet, but Betsy was already saluting the others with her half-filled glass of red wine. Jim, the GM, had bought four cases of the stuff, Great Wall ‘94. It was going to be a long night. I asked Jim what kind of opportunity Betsy was leaving for. Chinese Way is typically to not be too clear when telling others the details of a new job. This case was no different: the best Jim knew, Betsy had been offered a GM position at a large Chinese manufacturer’s. “Anything she wanted,” Jim said. “There was no way I could compete.” The GM explained to me that her husband’s guanxi - special relationships - was very strong, and that the GM understood that through the husband’s relationships the offer had come up.

I replied that if that was so, the pressure for her to take the new position was likely inexorable: everyone in the Chinese family seems to get in on the individual’s decision, especially if an opportunity is wealth-providing; the individual’s happiness becomes subsidiary to the family’s requirements in this instance. In other words, though Betsy might have been happy as a lark at the current company, her family would have seen the opportunity for greater wealth and prestige as over-riding factors.

Throughout servings of skewers of sweet-spicy shrimps, black-pepper steak, steamed fish in soy sauce, pig’s intestine soup and more, the toasts became more ferocious. Jim and Betsy fared the worst. Nearly all of Jim’s staff, it seemed, came with glasses half and sometimes fully filled to salute their boss, whom they all appreciated and respected as a great leader. Meanwhile, Betsy was making second rounds to individuals at tables to salute them; whenever she returned to her seat coworkers would challenge her to another toast. Eventually, Betsy simply put her head on the table; it was unclear whether she was going to be sick or whether she was simply weeping. A clutch of young women, co-workers all, gathered around her. Some whispered soothingly to her, others rubbed her shoulders and back. Some of her attendants started to sob.

Jim called Betsy to the center of the restaurant banquet room to say a few words and to pass her a gift. The company had given her one of the most expensive of the consumer electronics items it manufactures, with her name engraved on its chassis. Betsy sniffled, and told everyone her experience at the company was the most fulfilling in her life, and would probably in the future remain so. She also told Jim he had been the best boss she had ever had, and gave him a warm hug. Misty-eyed, everyone clapped. By the time she returned to the table she was crying, in full swing. She laid her head down on the table again.

By now it was clear concluding affairs was not going to be straight-forward. Bob, the HR manager, called Betsy’s husband to come and collect her. It was a long goodbye, and continued to be a tearful one to the last possible minute. Her husband, a shy, soft-spoken Suzhounese, gently took her by the shoulders, lifted her to her feet, and began to guide her to the exit. An entourage of young lady co-workers trailed behind her, carrying her belongings. As she walked out she doled out hugs as if she would never see the people again, including me. By this time, everyone was sniffling, while many of the women were outright crying.

As Betsy finally made it to the entrance, I remarked to Bob in a low voice how touching it all was. He said simply, “This is what it is to be a human being - to have a feeling of belonging to something. Now she has to leave that feeling.”

What better staff retention plan could there be than that?
 

William Dodson, General Manager of Asia Base A/S - Law & Projects. His blog: This is China! BLOG

*all names have been changed