These rules apply to any type of negotiation game, whether it is multimillion pound deal, buying a car or a house — The same rules apply.

The wonderful thing about these golden rules is that even an unskilled negotiators can, not only be a players over night but also win big time using these three golden rules; They are the ABC of the negotiation game.

1) Aim Big
2) Be Patient
3) Concede Small

Let’s talk about the three Golden rules of the negotiation game.

1) Aim Big

This is the realm of Aspiration.

Arnold Toynbee once said:

“It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it.”

My Wife and I visited an Antique shop the other day and we fancied a great looking Victorian coffee table that was in mint condition.

The price tag was £499 and my wife was dying to buy it; the salesman noticed her "attachment" to the table and naturally wouldn’t budge on the price.

Politely, I said to him, that I am very embarrassed by the situation and that all that I have in my pocket is £90 pounds and no credit cards. The sales man was shocked but appreciated my “openness” with him and said, “you couldn’t make it £200 pounds (notice the concession he made).

I took my wife aside and pretended to ask her if she has any money on her; while of course, she knew what I was doing.

We went back to the salesman and I said that my wife has another £20 on her and offered him all what we have which was £110 in total. To my pleasant surprise he accepted while my wife was pleasantly in shock.

Obviously I can give you hundreds of examples on Aiming big golden rule alone, but I hope you got the point.

Poor negotiators are shy to ask or to aspire for stunning results for fear of failure. Remember you can always ask and the worst that could happen is that you get a NO, but more often than not the other party will want to continue if he saw that you are “genuine” and “polite”.

Try this rule when you buy a new car.

First decide which car, study the price, determine how much you will pay (planning) and then, take the money in cash with you on the last day of the month and show it to the sales man “humbly” explaining that this is all you have for this beautiful car; Just don’t tell him how desperate you are for the car!

Just make sure that what you are paying him is around 30% less than the asking price (to start). I promise you, you will get the car you dreamt off all this time and at a great price.

In most negotiations big concessions happen in the last few hours regardless of how long the negotiation has taken.

The more you bring the salesman or the buyer to his deadline without you conceding too much (The next golden rule) the more concessions will be given at the end.

Being patient till the end is what differentiates the boys from the men and the girls from the women.

Top negotiators with no exceptions are patient, they play on the changing circumstances that will favour them in the end. This is one of Nature’s most sacred laws… things will change.

A Chinese proverb may be helpful here “if you wait patiently by the side of the river, the corpse of your enemy will pass you by”.

3) Concede small

The concession pattern tells a “patient” negotiator so much about his opponent’s situation and negotiation style.

The salesman in the antique shop went from £499 to £200 in one go; he reduced the price by 60% in the first go. Is there more concessions to come? You may ask… of course there is.

What about the sales man situation? You could safely assume that the item in question couldn’t have cost him more than third of what he is asking now and that my £90 offer was still making him little profit or he wouldn’t have continued the negotiation.

A reasonable return for him would in this case be 50% and hence my £110 offer was what he would be comfortable with albeit not a great deal for him.
If the sales man said from the outset that he couldn’t go less than £400 which is a reduction of 20% as the first concession, how much you think I could have settled this for?

The answer would be around £190. Why? Going by the “third of the asking price - cost rule” for his industry, the table would have cost him about £130, adding 50% makes around £190 pounds.

Final word about his "opening Gambit"; £499 was his aspiration in the first place and it is important that such a demand should be ignored by the negotiator and hence the initial "politeness" and "humbleness" that one should show to find the true aspiration of the seller.